For as long as I can remember, I have been a people pleaser. I am not sure when exactly this started but I have just recently recognized this behavior in myself and it made me quite unhappy. Not unhappy in the fact that I am giving and helpful towards others but more so in the fact that the same act of kindness is either taken advantage of or not reciprocated. Now, I am no dummy but the fact that I keep expecting something different to happen but yet and still continue to do the same thing- THAT'S CRAZY and as my mentor Eric Thomas would say, "If you want to see a difference, you have to make a decision!" and that is exactly what I have already put into practice. It is invigorating and powerful to take a stand for yourself, especially when you can see that for so long you did not. In doing so I am choosing to say, "I matter, I choose to love and be loved, I choose to allow those right-minded-hearted individuals to share my space BUT when they no longer are considerate of my feelings, boundaries or acknowledge my efforts in being a genuine friend or family member- BOO, YOU GOTSTAH GO!!!"
Some may see that as a selfish, nonchalant attitude to have but honestly, it's not. When you drive your car until the gas runs out what happens? It stops right, yeah well me too! I am no longer running on fumes with some individuals in my life, I am parked and calling for a tow-and that's okay. I will still struggle in letting others down and not measuring up to what they expected of me, but that now (and forever) will come second to my own personal expectations of myself and making sure that my needs (mentally, physically and emotionally) are met (first). I look forward to doing this in a very positive manner, I know how I can get when I get sick and tired, and if you can relate- just know that being mean and nasty gets you no where. A simple tactic that I am using is what I call, "Operation: "Tell'em Girl..... Bye" Follow these steps:
1. Be honest, swift and direct
2. Teach them to treat you how you want to be treated (actions speak louder than words)
3. Use "I" statements to keep it about you
4. Make things clear and final
5. Love yourself fiercely
Woooossssaaaaaahhhhhh, it's going to be alright. After you realize who is in your life, categorize them appropriately and weigh you thoughts and options. Most often times we have (subconsciously) already had this talk, and it's hard, don't get me wrong- but is it worth letting down the most important person in your life? Are YOU going to really allow YOUrself to continue to be let down, unappreciated and or disrespected by the very same individuals that you would fight for? I THINK NOT! Let me know what you think and how you remove negativity/ negative people from your life.
