Raising a Queen is by no means an easy task, and I say that candidly because I feel as if I just started. My daughter is 10 years old and she is sugar and spice and everything spicey! This kid of mine is definitely making me question myself daily. My most asked question is, "if I acted anything like her at her age?" I would like to say no but then again I am almost sure I did. Due to my fear that she is doing too much, I find myself running off this list of "Do's & Don'ts" praying that she is listening and implementing my rules for my own selfish insanity so that she can be just like ME (selfishness at it's finest) however, I had an "Ah Ha" moment that simply said, "Stop telling her and start showing her"
As an educator the number one rule to teaching a student, no matter the grade level or the subject matter, is to model how you want the students to work through the problem step by step. So, as I was teaching in my classroom this notion smacked me in the head like a V8 bottle, I was parenting her all wrong. Ultimately all I want is an independent, smart, strong, confident, kind, respectful Queen (is that too much?)- so here's my (revised) plan to get her there:
1. Tell Her You Believe In Her. It is a known fact that parents who repeatedly tell their children that they can be and do anything they put their minds to- actually believe it! Make this apart of your daily routine.
2. Ask About Her Interests. My daughter is very artsy; colors, fabric, hairstyles and clothes excite her. She wants to be a designer 5 days out of the week and the other 2 days a veterinarian, so I try my best to concentrate on all of her designs and ideas as best as I can, but sometimes I just can't. But I have noticed the more questions I ask about designing or participate in what's going on in her head -it lights up her whole life. Also, when I am interested in her interests our conversations take off to what else is going on in her life which creates relationship and trust.
3. Help Her Love Who She Is. I have not always loved everything about myself. I do now! And because I know that road and how long and bumpy it can be, I am trying to bypass all of those speed bumps that it took me to realize and love myself with my daughter. My daughter is already very confident (by nature) so I don't have much to do, but I tell her often how pretty she is, and she reminds me if I don't. Again, model the behavior, allow you daughter to see you putting on makeup, or hearing you say, "I love me some me!" If your daughter catches you loving all of you- she will too!
4. Get Her Into Sports. I have not done this yet, but I am going to! I played sports as a child (Thanks Mom & Dad) and in being in sports I learned to respect my body not only for it's beauty but also for it's strength!
5. Parent With Empathy. This is key! Girls can be soooo emotional and it can be draining however in allowing my child to feel emotions I am teaching her also to self-regulate. Her feelings are important to me, empathy makes your child know that she matters and that her feelings are important.
I'm not going to get it right all the time with my daughter, each day she teaches me something new about myself, and I welcome each lesson with open arms. More importantly I am learning that I don't want her to be like me, I want her to be who God intended her to be, and knowing that I am equipped to do so with the experiences that He has placed on me in my life to assist her along the way.
What are some values that you are instilling in your daughter? Please share!
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