In today's world it is very rare to find genuine people and I am not ashamed to say that I have befriended individuals who were completely WHACK & only wanted to "get" something in return. Based on my own personal experiences, by the time you even figure out why someone has placed themselves in your circle, it's too late- an attachment has been formed and the emotions have run deep, it's safe to say, "YOU'RE DONE!" But don't go beating yourself up, (unfortunately) your perception was your reality- at that time however, every lesson is a lesson worth learning! As I continue on my path of experiencing experiences wholeheartedly (which is easier said than done) I can pinpoint people in my life who I could not only confide in but they also knew when to give me the ol', "Girl you trippin'" side-eye.
It is soooo necessary to have real people in your circle, no "Yes-ums!" for me. So, the other day I was strollin' through Big Lots with my Homie and we were literally talking about everything (which I am blessed to say anyone whom I call a friend, we typically do that) and we touched on how being transparent is essential to all relationships but especially when it's your friend. I never want to be that friend that someone says, "No don't tell her, she's too______ (fill in the blank)" Anyway... we were doing what Queens do, but being completely vulnerable and silly and it was healing! Sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives that we need to push the STOP button, hang out with a friend talk about it and then return to our situation with a renewed spirit and or new outlook on what it is that is going on, without guilt, shame or being judged.
Later on the evening, when I returned home I looked up the word friend and here's what it said:
"A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection."- Google
Let's break apart the definition in true Normal Black Chic form (reverting to my good ol' college Cliff Notes on this...LOL)
I. "A person whom one knows" you must first know (like really really know them)- that means more than one encounter and over a period of time, that would be sufficient. I feel the need to say that seeing as everyone nowadays are "friends" and or "cousins"
II. Secondly, "One who has a bond" We've all heard the expression, "Word is bond" and or "Loose lips sink ships!" YUUUUPPP- if they are telling your business left and right or you can't trust them with money, your man, your kids or your car- Not my friend (in my opinion).
III. Lastly, "Of mutual affection" let me be the first to say it SUCKS to love someone who doesn't love you back. I still have to deal with my need to want to jump up & down like a school girl and pick up where we left off with some women in my life, but the fact of the matter is (for whatever reason) the feeling is not mutual, so until then- Heyyyyy Girl!
#message- If you're struggling in this department, reevaluate your whole situation. I would hate for you not to be able to experience what I am experiencing right now. To all my girls, you know who you are, I appreciate everything about you! I appreciate you for your honesty & laughs, being transparent, your tired ear (I'm sorry) but most of all your presence!
P.S. Never leave me!
Normal Black Chic