I think the hardest thing ever is celebrating a loved one who is no longer with you. I personally feel this way when I think about my Dad on Father's Day, so I felt the need to write an open letter to my Father who I know is reading this with smile....
Dear Dad,
Words will never express the love and admiration that I have for you. I am only left with the unfading memories of you and I hope they are enough, but sometimes they aren't- I just want to hug and squeeze you like I did as a child. Whenever I think about you and feel sad, I think about some of the funniest things you use to do to make me smile, like when you tried to dance but your legs only opened and closed, or the fact that you loved to wear dress pants and dress shoes with a regular old t-shirt (why???). You were also an example of hard work, you and mom showed me early on what entrepreneurship looked like, for that I have drive and passion in my career. As in life there are moments of anger and fear and you displayed those natural emotions when things did not work out as planned between you and mom but you made it right with her in the end and for that you've taught me to be humble. I know you loved us with every beat of your heart, every little girl deserves to know and feel the true love that you showed me, I can't remember a time that you weren't there when I needed you. I remember when I got flu, I was so sick, you took me to the hospital and stayed all night. You never left my side even when you didn't know what to do, you did your best to get me better and for that I am grateful. I am proud to announce that I was your most annoying child but you never made me feel inadequate or unwanted, yeah a couple of "Shut Ups" and "Go Somewhere!" were said to me occasionally but you never tried to break my spirit- Thank you! I feel ashamed of myself because all of the Father's Days that we shared together, I bought you socks, T-shirts and a card, that was not enough or a true expression of the gratitude that you deserved and now that I know that, it's a little too late. I know your presence is near me and I know your proud of us all, I will go through this life with you as a guardian angel and for that I am at peace. No one will ever know your true strength, but I do, I watched you battle the pain of Leukemia, trembling but when asked you said "I'm okay" -for us! On this Father's Day, every Father's Day and everyday I celebrate the man that you were and the Father that I loved sooo much! If Heaven had a phone I would call you and wish you the happiest Father's Day filled with all of your favorites: May your socks be black nylon, may your pants be starched and creased, may your dress shoes be worn yet shiney, may your T-shirt not match anything you have on, may your smile be brighter than the sun and your love for all of your children continue to be felt this Father's Day in Heaven, rest in peace...
If you too are dealing with experiencing the loss of a parent try this:
1. Reach out to supportive people and have a conversation about how you are feeling. Sometimes I want to talk about it, sometimes I just need a hug and other times I don't want to do anything by cry.
2. Allow yourself to grieve. However you grieve allow yourself to do so, don't act as if it doesn't affect you because it does and not recognizing what you're going through only interrupts the process
3. Give yourself a lot of time to heal, losing a parent is a major loss. I remember when my father first passed away my aunt told me, "You never get over it, you just get by"
4. Hold on to your memories. Although time doesn't stop, memories never fade. Try to remember what you're parent enjoyed doing, watching, saying or eating and do it- for the memories.
As always thanks for starting or ending your workweek with me,
P.S.Trust the process