First of all she's 10. That's where I start- in my mind; no she doesn't have a job, no she doesn't pay (any) bills, no she doesn't always do what is asked- so HOW, then can she HAVE an attitude? Honestly, some of it is learned behavior, I can go there BUT I do work, I do pay bills and I do always do what I am asked (lies. I'm grown). No but seriously, she has been doing the most lately- walking around stomping, huffing & puffing, asking questions after I've already said, "No." Sometimes, I laugh at her (because she's funny, not because I'm being mean), sometimes I yell at her, "Get it together!!!" and sometimes- most times, I say nothing- she has to learn how to self-regulate when she gets in her moods. More importantly, I am learning who she is, what makes her angry & frustrated, so I watch her and then I tell her to get away from me because it bothers me that she is so bothered by something so small- she hates that but it's true---I do (FACTS!) As a parent I am trying to give her tools to navigate through life appropriately, what I am saying hasn't quite hit the core yet but if I keep repeating myself, like my mom did to me (THANKS, MOM!) it WILL work! So if you have a little Princess/Wicked Witch of the West- you know what to do, keep reading!
2 Ways to Help You Change Your Child's Attitude.
1. Starts with YOU. Because she's only 10, I can't expect her to fully comprehend my why, why I need her to listen and why I need her to look at the situation from another perspective, or more importantly why I need her to change how she responds when she doesn't get her way. When our children are struggling and or pull mood swings, we get to see how they respond to anger- but where did that come from? FACT: We are our children's first teacher, are we not?! So, then that means, they are reflecting how we respond to anger/disappointment/discomfort. Therefore, if YOU change how YOU respond to anger YOU can change how your child responds to anger- that one hurt, but I'm here for the lesson!
2. Know Your Child's Strengths & Weaknesses. Consider your child's likes, dislikes, ways they like to learn, etc. AS often as you can put them in both scenarios so that they are challenged as much as possible. When they are in those situations monitor how they behave and their reactions. If they respond positively, praise them but if their response is negative, ask them questions like, "Why is that okay?", "Would you like it if they did that to you?" , "Who treats/ talks to you like that?", "What should you have done/said?" ,"Show me another way to handle that situation." The same goes for when they are doing great, "That was great!", "You made great choices today!", "You're very kind and that matters to me." It's proven that the more positive remarks we make to our children, the better they behave.
-more importantly, it's a process, we're all learning and growing together. Be sure to be encouraging/positive and let what they do go- don't chew on the attitude for the whole day, take a break and start over. Always tell your kids you love them anyway!
I know I only 2 ways to improve your child's attitude and it doesn't seem like much but this is working (and prayer) but my kids are still young and were still learning together. Since implementation, I've seen an improvement (or I've built up a tolerance). If you have some other ideas that will help me not to pull out each of my eyelashes with tweezers over my daughters attitude- I'm accepting them all, please don't let me be that Queen with no eyelashes, you love me don't you?!
